We all have that friend we would die for, right? That friend who has been there for you through thick and thin, who would never leave you. Maybe you’ve talked about crazy scenarios like what you would both do in a zombie apocalypse or if one of you turned evil or something else that would never happen. Maybe you have a friend that you consider your platonic soulmate, but you still think having a romantic partner is more important, right? Why should you? If you consider your best friend your platonic soulmate, why is romance so important to you?
I will admit that I am aromantic asexual so my opinion may be a little skewed, but I have a best friend who I would die for, I would kill for, I would live for her. We hold hands, we kiss on occasion, we love each other, and we are perfectly happy being just us two forever. We are not dating. Our relationship is completely platonic, but I consider her to be my soulmate. Neither of us feel a longing for any sort of romantic or sexual relationship so we are completely content with our platonic relationship, and we have no desire to make it go any further.
Societal confusion about platonic relationships
Other people are confused by our relationship because we kiss and hold hands and tell each other that we love each other but why can those things not be done in a platonic way? Why must we be confined by what society views as platonic or romantic? We are not dating. We are best friends. Yes, we kiss. Yes, we hold hands. Yes, we love each other. Yes, we sometimes make jokes about exploring each other’s bodies and marrying each other but no, we are not dating.
Our relationship is simply a deeper version of a platonic relationship and yet it seems to confuse other people so much. We could use terms like queerplatonic relationship, which is a term that aroace people can use to describe the person they are with in ways that society understands could be interpreted as sexual or romantic, but why should we? Why should we be confined to societal ideals of what a relationship should or should not be?
Refusal to be confined by limiting terminology
If I referred to her as my girlfriend, there would be questions as to how she could date someone who does not feel romantic or sexual attraction and then there would be awkward conversations because I do feel those things towards her but not enough to long for more than what we have. When I refer to her as my best friend, there is always snide comments about when we will get together and become boyfriend and girlfriend but that leads to awkward conversations because we do not want to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
We are happy as we are, but some people just do not understand that, and they refuse to understand us. If I referred to her as my queerplatonic partner, there would be a lot of confusion because she is not aroace but I am so it could be seen as me holding her back from having a real boyfriend or girlfriend, even though she does not really want one. I have referred to her as my queerplatonic partner before to try to clear up some confusion but that was just met with snide comments about just calling her my girlfriend and not making up fancy weird terms to be different.
Why should we have to use different terms or squeeze ourselves into societal expectations of sexuality when that is not who we are? So many people do not seem to understand that we are not dating. Kissing can be platonic. Holding each other’s hand can be platonic. Telling someone that you love them can and should be seen as platonic. So why is our relationship so difficult to understand?
My platonic soulmate
She is the love of my life, my platonic soulmate, my girlfriend, my best friend, the sole captor of my heart, my tether to this mortal plane and she is the only reason left for me to smile in this evil hellscape of a world. I love her dearly as a friend, a partner, a sister and everything else. She is my everything. She is the start of my world and the end of it. I adore her with every inch of my heart and soul, and I will never let her go and she does not want me to. She is everything to me and she holds my heart in her tender grasp so sweetly and dearly.
I know she would never hurt me and for someone so world-weary and exhausted, she is all I need.
