In my quest for love to amount to more than just an overpriced cocktail and conversation frankly more awkward than when your card declines for a meal deal, alas I’ve found myself clicking the re-download button on a dating app a humbling number of times.
Yet, my efforts were met with people three decades older, the slightly creepy neighbour, and those who have decided to lead the conversation with “let me clap those cheeks”. This inspires great confidence in a lasting love story, no? Again, the pool of potential suitors returns to a grand total of zero.
And so my curiosity grows. I wonder, why do I and many others continue the cycle of swiping left after left, in hopes that someone outside of the above categories will grace our screen? And are dating apps losing their cool or have they grown into something bigger?
Cards on the table
One main reason that comes to light is their use in the queer community. Findings from the Pew Research Center in 2023 showed that 28% of US heterosexual adults say they have used a dating site or app, compared to 51% of lesbian, gay and bisexual adults (the research exclusively focused on sexual orientation and not specifically gender).
Which, if you think about it, makes sense. It’s nerve wracking enough to approach someone you fancy in person without the potential threat of homophobia or an awkward conversation of ‘I’m not gay but my best friend’s mother’s hairdresser’s cousin is’.
Having designated apps such as Bumble or Her, or a filtered preference option that most now offer – whereby you can specify your sexual preference – makes it easier for people to connect without the guesswork.
Crunching the numbers
The dating app industry still dominates the online romance sphere, with Hinge alone soaring to be worth over $400mn in 2023. No doubt this is down to Gen Z’s adoption of the app and the odd wine and projector-screen Hinge scroll night (a guaranteed laugh by the way!).
Ofcom found that Hinge was in fact the most popular dating app amongst young people with 73% being 18–34-year-olds and certainly explains the uncomfortable moment when your friend or housemate pops up in your swipes.
Dating apps remain a pick-your-pleasure service, with research from Kaspersky finding that 48% of people use dating apps to ‘meet new people’ and others for a committed relationship. Though amusingly, “7% of users were explicitly using dating apps to promote their social media accounts”.
Looking for: friends
Undoubtedly, dating apps have also morphed into a friendship-searching hub. Apps like Bumble (which has a friendship section) or Peanut (for mums to meet other mums) have popped up on the swipe-to-connect market.
A great idea really, to connect adults who have perhaps moved to a new city and aren’t afforded the luxury of making a close friend group that could rival Carrie Bradshaw through education or work. Let’s face it, making friends as an adult can be hard and these apps are set to solve that.
Similarly, backpackers and solo travellers have also capitalised on the left and right swipe technique to connect with other nearby travellers, with apps such as Hey! Vina, a women’s only international friends app. Even Hostelworld has jumped on the trend, creating group chats for people staying nearby/in the same hostel – which I found out whilst travelling Portugal when I got a message from a ‘Bradley’ I’d never heard of.
Both sides of the coin
In a 2023 research article published by Statistica, 49% of people reported to have had ‘very’ or ‘fairly good’ experiences on dating apps, which seems rather low. But when you hear ‘dating apps’ and instantly think of potential catfishing or stalking, 49% suddenly feels very good.
Conversations about the safety concerns of dating apps have arisen for things such as catfishing, stalking or even developing dopamine-seeking addiction. Yet their potential and market, such as for travellers or communities, seems to have outgrown these fears for a lot of people.
I don’t believe that concerns around dating apps or the phrase ‘we met online’ will ever fully disappear when relaying the how-we-met story. But maybe there’s a new potential for them to not carry as much as a controversial reputation?
Something for everyone
Whether it’s for love, friendship, or the simple necessity to connect with fellow humans, using the barrier of a screen seems to remain a method we swipe right on. And it’s clearly beneficial to a range of communities that may not have the access of real life meets.
People may have just moved and don’t fancy throwing themselves into the new dating pool just yet – and so use online apps to dip their toes in or even to connect with potential friends nearby. There are also those who meet over social media platforms such as Instagram, or the Discord love story that you’re bound to hear at least once, who may use dating apps to keep in touch and connect as exclusively online relationships.
Whatever their usage, they may supply that particle of confidence we often don’t possess in real life. Or, admittedly, don’t find ourselves in the right time or place to, because, yes, it is weird to ask your boss out.
Dating apps may actually be the antidote to the loneliness a lot of us feel, and satisfy a range of needs, from connecting to a love interest to other new mums in the area. And I mean, who doesn’t like a minor internet ‘stalk’ before sliding into someone’s messages?
