This week, whilst the world burned and people couldn’t pay their bills, Grant Shapps the transport minister made a promotional video for a PR stunt that benefits nobody and shows just how desperate the Conservatives have become.
Oh goody goody goody Grant Shapps in a hoodie Tory Boy’s in a wacky advert I’m struggling for breath WTAF But at least it distracts from their perverts. He says “Take a trip!” “These fares are a snip!” It’s an outtake from Nathan Barley. But this trip’s a bummer like a long, damp summer And the ad-men have been at the Charlie. Oh hip hip hooray It’s a glorious day For wackiness on my computer But take a quick peek, They’re midweek and off peak And no help to struggling commuters. Our stupefaction’s A useful distraction from the PM’s daily confessions Some say it’s a stunt tickets nobody wants, To Britain’s most costly locations. Oh goody, goody, goody, He’s taken off his hoodie Our Grant will always give things a stab There’s no depths they won’t plumb They think we’re all dumb Now he’s holding a giant plastic crab. Oh whoopee do They haven’t a clue But they cling to power nonetheless. They spout and they preen They distract and they scream. In the meantime we clean up their mess