“Welcome to BBC Sport, Toby.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m Ian, I’m your line manager…”
“Morning, Ian.”
“…and I see you’re joining us from…”
“BBC News.”
“BBC News. Your resumé says you were there…”
“Seven years.”
“Quite a shift, Toby.”
“Yes.”
“Well, Sport’s a little different…”
“OK.”
“…but I’m sure you’ll fit right in.”
“Great.”
“You’ll be a team player, I’m sure.”
“Right.”
“No standing on the touchlines for Toby.”
“Very good, Ian.”
“So let’s get you started!”
“I’m keen to get stuck in.”
“Smashing. So for starters…”
“To kick off, as it were…”
“Ha! Yes, Toby. Excellent!”
“Thank you.”
“Back of the net, so to speak.”
“Right…”
“For starters, could you write up…”
“Yes?”
“Yesterday’s game between Portsmouth and Millwall.”
“Absolutely.”
“A fairly routine 3-1 win to Portsmouth…”
“Well…”
“Shouldn’t present any problems…”
“Er…”
“A warm-up, before…”
“Ian?”
“…we move you on to bigger things.”
“About the result, Ian.”
“The result?”
“Yes.”
“3-1. Pompey thumped them.”
“That is a matter of some dispute.”
“I’m sorry?”
“The result. It’s disputed.”
“It really isn’t, Toby.”
“I’m afraid it is.”
“No. Definitely 3-1.”
“I’ve got sources…”
“Sources?”
“…who say Millwall were robbed.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“And these sources are…?”
“Charlie Knuckles.”
“Charlie…?”
“Knuckles.”
“Right. And he is?”
“A season ticket holder…”
“A Millwall season ticket holder?”
“…who was at the match.”
“Hmmm…”
“According to Mr Knuckles…”
“Yes?”
“Millwall won the game 4-0.”
“4-0?”
“Yes.”
“That’s quite the claim, Toby.”
“He seems quite certain…”
“I’m sure he does, but…”
“…and it’s important to provide…”
“…Millwall weren’t at the races.”
“…a balanced report…”
“They were lucky to come second, by all accounts.”
“…reflecting all points of view.”
“Result? 3-1 to Portsmouth.”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“There’s also the question of the validity….”
“Validity?”
“…of Portsmouth’s goals.”
“Let me get this right, Toby…”
“I think it’s important…”
“Your Mr…”
“Knuckles.”
“…Mr Knuckles claims that Portsmouth didn’t score…”
“Correct.”
“…and also says the goals they didn’t score weren’t valid.”
“Not exactly.”
“This doesn’t make any sense, Toby.”
“Charlie says Millwall won 4-0…”
“Right…”
“…it’s Big Gus who disputes the Portsmouth goals.”
“The ones Mr Knuckles says never happened?”
“Yes, Ian. He’s very adamant.”
“That’s neither here nor there.”
“Gus says the first goal was a foul on the keeper…”
“He was lobbed from the halfway line, Toby.”
“…after the halftime whistle had blown…”
“It was in the 7th minute.”
“…and the other two…”
“I can’t wait to hear this…”
“…were scored by an illegal.”
“I’m sorry?”
“An illegal.”
“Seriously?”
“Gus’s words, Ian. Not mine.”
“This is… incredible.”
“I felt I should mention it…”
“Tyrone’s Black British…”
“Not according to Gus…”
“He’s a Brummie, through and through…”
“Gus says not.”
“Have you ever heard Tyrone interviewed, Toby?”
“I’ve not had the pleasure…”
“That accent… those vowels….”
“Ian?”
“Pure Brum. Like nails…”
“That’s as may be…”
“…down a blackboard.”
“…but I think we need to include….”
“No.”
“…Gus’s opinion in the report.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Really?”
“Toby, the highlights show…”
“Ah, yes…”
“…all of the goals…”
…the highlights.”
“… in glorious high definition.”
“I didn’t want to bring this up, Ian…”
“Go on…”
“…not so early in our working relationship…”
“But…?”
“That particular camera angle only appears…”
“Appears???”
“…only appears to show the goals.”
“Toby, you’re new here…”
“I know…”
“…still learning the ropes…”
“Looking forward to it, Ian.”
“Des, the cameraman…”
“Des?”
“…has worked for us for over twenty years.”
“And?”
“He’s one of our most respected operators, Toby.”
“OK…”
“So let’s not…”
“He grew up on the south coast, Ian.”
“Pardon?”
“On the south coast…”
“You can’t be…”
“…in Hampshire…”
“You are… you’re going there.”
“He may be partisan….”
“Give me strength….”
“…that’s all I’m saying.”
“Toby…”
“There may be other angles…”
“Other angles???”
“…which corroborate Gus’s claims.”
“Toby, this hasn’t happened in thirty years…”
“It probably has, Ian.”
“…but I’m lost for words.”
“OK….”
“I don’t know where to begin.”
“You could thank me…”
“Thank you??!!”
“Yes.”
“Unbelievable.”
“It’s been said before, to be honest.”
“Let me just check I’ve got this straight…”
“Go on…”
“You look at the match result…”
“Alleged result…”
“…and camera footage…”
“Partisan footage…”
“…and set against that, the unverified…”
“I prefer contrasting…”
“…unverified claims of Knuckles and Gus.”
“Their strongly held opinions, Ian.”
“That’s quite the take, Toby.”
“It’s how we do things in News…”
“Ah. Yes.”
“…and I see no reason…”
“This is Sport.”
“I know…”
“We do things differently here.”
“Oh.”
“But I believe in open communication…”
“Me too, Ian. Me too.”
“…and in that spirit…”
“Right…”
“I wanted to let you know…”
“Yes…”
“I’ll be passing the match report on to Sandra.”
“The trainee???!!”
“Yes.”
“But…”
“She can pull that together.”
“But…”
“Yes, Toby?”
“But what about me?”
“You?”
“What shall I do?”
“You can make me a cup of tea, Toby.”
“Er…”
“White, two sugars.”
“Tea?”
“Yes. Think you can manage that?”
“It may be coffee, Ian.”
“I’d expect nothing less, Toby. I’d expect nothing less.”
Steve Pottinger 26 Jan 2026
