I have a confession to make: l love Spam. Sometimes I even dream about Spam. No, not cyber-spam. I mean Spam in a can – edible Spam. I used to sing:
“Yummy-yummy-yummy
When there’s Spam in my tummy.”
I had a girlfriend in the late ’80s who would serenade me with: “Every time you go away / you take a piece of Spam with you.”
Mark Zuckerberg – enemy of spam
This came back to me when I read a short TechCrunch excerpt in the East African. Facebook, it reports, “has taken action against 500,000 accounts that were engaged in ‘spammy behavior’”. Obviously Mark Zuckerberg does not like spammy behaviour, whatever it means. No problem. I’m not on Facebook or any other social network. I’m not a social network kind of guy.
War – Spam’s friend
Spam goes by the brand name of SPAM. It’s made by Hormel, a giant food processing corporation. Briefly, back in the 1930s, Hormel was selling a lot of ham but not doing so well with pork shoulder. Someone came up with the idea of combining the two. My guess: it’s a whole lot of pork shoulder and a little bit of ham. Some think the name comes from: Shoulder of Pork And Ham = SPAM.
During World War II, American solders got plenty of Spam in their rations, a total of 75,000 tonnes, give or take. It was so ubiquitous, GIs said Spam was short for SPecial Army Meat. They must have shared some of their special army meat with folks in the countries they liberated. Hormel opened up a Spam market in Europe after the war.
Monty Python vs the nutritionists
Spam has mixed reviews. Some of us love it. For others, Spam is the butt of jokes, particularly Monty Python. They did a very famous and funny sketch about Spam. Cast member Eric Idle wrote the script and lyrics for a Broadway musical parody called Spamalot, which won a Tony award as best musical in 2005.
On the other end of the spectrum, nutritionists say that Spam is not part of a healthy diet: “Spam is high in calories, fat, and sodium. A two-ounce serving contains 174 calories, 15 grams of fat, and 32% of the daily sodium intake.”
Foodies knock it as being low class, poor people’s food. It’s not organic, it’s definitely not gourmet, not on their menu for good eating. They poo-poo Spam. I suppose that’s how the name “spam” got affixed to unwanted internet messages.
The detractors are partially correct. You really don’t want to look at the list of ingredients. Spam is like a good sausage – enjoy eating it and don’t think about how it’s made. Okay, so Spam is not part of a healthy diet. Cheeseburgers aren’t part of a healthy diet, neither is pizza. Follow your healthy diet for 29 days a month, and on the 30th indulge yourself with a pizza supreme, a cheeseburger or Spam. As the old Schlitz beer commercial proclaimed: “You only go around once in life so you’ve got to grab all the gusto you can!”
Ways to relish your Spam
Spam is pre-cooked. You can eat it like I used to straight out of the can. Put two slices of Spam between two slices of whole wheat bread, add yellow salad mustard and dill pickles, a leaf of iceberg lettuce, and you have a fine Spam sandwich. Or cut two slices of Spam into one-inch (2.5cm) cubes, fry in a skillet. Then whisk two eggs in a bowl with a splash of milk, add salt and pepper to taste, and pour over the Spam cubes in the skillet and scramble. A breakfast treat. There are dozens and dozens of recipes for Spam.
I came up with my own special Spam recipe – shenzi eggs benedict. Shenzi is Swahili for ‘uncivilized’. Fry two slices of Spam in a skillet with butter. Toast an English muffin or a bun or, if they aren’t available, a slice of bread. Lay on the two slices of Spam, then melt sharp cheddar cheese on it. Add a fried egg, sunny-side up or over easy, on top. A Sunday brunch delight. Try it. You might like it.
I used to occasionally find Spam in Dar-es-Salaam international supermarkets at quadruple the US price. A 12oz (340g) can of Spam cost the same as 3kg of steak. I’d only buy it for special occasions, given the exorbitant price. Now that I’m on a fairly strict diet and budget, I don’t even bother to look for it.
Ah, for the good old days when I was young, carefree and engaged in Spammy behaviour.
