A CONVERSATION

“My plumber’s a cog in the corporate machine”

The sixth in a series of conversations between Tim and Steve. Catch up on the first five via Steve’s author page.

 “Looks like the States have arrested a lot of those rioters, Tim.”
 “Hmmmm.”
 “Even buffalo boy’s got nicked…”
 “You know my thoughts on this, Steve…”
 “Lived with his mom, apparently…”
 “It’s just SO convenient…”
 “Which came as a shock to…”
 “But you choose to ignore what’s right in front of you.”
 “Absolutely no-one, Tim. That’s who.”
 “You really need to step back, Steve. See the bigger picture.”
 “The bigger picture?”
 “Yes.”
 “Which is?”
 “I’ve explained this before, Steve.”
 “Oh, yeah. Let me get this right…” 
 “That’ll be a first, mate.”
 “Crisis actors, right?”
 “Yes.”
 “The deep state, naturally…”
 “Correct.”
 “Because nothing happens without the big state.”
 “Very funny, Steve.”
 “Just checking I’ve got the measure of things, Tim.”
 “You’re taking the piss.”
 “Me?”
 “Again.”
 “Well…”
 “Admit it.”
 “Maybe just a little.”
 “I knew it.”
 “But you’ve got to agree…”
 “What?”
 “It’s pretty unbelievable, Tim.”
 “Not at all, Steve.”
 “Mate, you’re seeing one thing happen…”
 “Right…”
 “And another thing happen…”
 “Go on…”
 “And implying causation.”
 “Causation?”
 “You’re saying one thing caused the other…”
 “Sometimes.”
 “Or that an unseen hand caused them both…”
 “Exactly.”
 “But they just… happened.”
 “Rubbish.” 
 “Sometimes, things just happen.”
 “That’s crazy talk, Steve.”
 “Not at all, Tim.”
 “It is.”
 “Let’s try another example…”
 “Go on, then.”
 “One that’s less loaded…”
 “Bring it on.”
 “OK… Remember when Terry came round…”
 “Yeah.”
 “And fixed the leak on your dishwasher?”
 “Uh-huh.”
 “Well, it’s like that.”
 “America is like my dishwasher, Steve?”
 “More or less, Tim.”
 “That’s…”
 “I mean, it’s not an exact parallel…”
 “That’s…”
 But it’ll do.”
 “Oh. My. God.”
 “See what I mean, Tim?”
 “Yes, Steve. Yes, I think I do.”
 “Thank god. At last.”
 “The little bastard!”
 “What???”
 “The sneaky little sod!”
 “Tim…”
 “I can’t believe I was so blind…”
 “Blind?”
 “But then that’s what happens, isn’t it?”
 “How what happens?”
 “That’s how Big Plumbing sucks you in.”
 “Big Plumbing??”
 “The tentacles run deep, Steve.”
 “Tentacles??”
 “They’re there…”
 “Where?”
 “Every facet of your life…”
 “Tim…”
 “Watching, controlling…”
 “Tim, are you saying Terry’s part of Big Plumbing?”
 “Exactly.”
 “He’s seven stone dripping wet, Tim.”
 “Don’t be naïve, Steve.”
 “Nothing naïve about it. It’s true.”
 “So you say.”
 “The weighing machines, Tim. Not me.”
 “It’s not about his weight, Steve.”
 “Really?”
 “It’s his role.”
 “You mean, as a plumber?”
 “I mean as a cog in the corporate machine.”
 “Jesus, Tim.”
 “A tool…”
 “You can’t call Terry a tool.”
 “In the hands of the Big Plumbing behemoth.”
 “Mate, he’s just a plumber…”
 “No such thing, Steve…”
 “Trying to earn a crust.”
 “He’s part of the problem.”
 “He’s not.”
 “Oh, he is.”
 “Tim, this is Terry we’re talking about.”
 “I know.”
 “Terry who came round at nine in the evening…”
 “Yep.”
 “When your kitchen was ankle deep…”
 “And made me totally reliant on his expertise, Steve."
 “Well, yes.”
 “Ask yourself, who benefits?”
 “To be honest…”
 “Yes?”
 “You did.”
 “No, Steve.”
 “No?”
 “That’s what they want you to think.”
 “They??”
 “They.”
 “Oh boy.”
 “They make the problem…”
 “God…”
 “Then they ‘fix’ the problem…”
 “This is worse than I thought…”
 “You’re grateful…”
 “How did you get to be like this, Tim?”
 “And you’re bound to Big Plumbing forever.”
 “Unbelievable.”
 “It’s a lot to take on, Steve.”
 “No…”
 “It blew my mind when I first put it all together, trust me.”
 “Tim…”
 “But when it all falls into place…”
 “Tim…”
 “Boom! It changes your life.”
 “Tim, there’s no such thing as Big Plumbing.”
 “Oh there is.”
 “There isn’t.”
 “You said so, yourself.”
 “What?”
 “You even said Terry’s part of it.”
 “When?”
 “Just now.”
 “Mate, I never…”
 “You did.”
 “I was repeating your words, Tim…”
 “Of course you were.”
 “Reflecting them back…”
 “If you say so, Steve.”
 “I didn’t mean…”
 “Don’t trust Terry, that’s all I’m saying."
 “He’s a bloody good plumber, Tim.”
 “He’s an operative, Steve…”
 “He isn’t.”
 “A snake in the grass…”
 “He’s good with leaks, Tim.”
 “And don’t think I haven’t seen…”
 “Seen what?”
 “How he’s sniffing round Cassandra.”
 “Terry?”
 “Yes.”
 “They’ve known each other since school, mate.”
 “So they claim.”
 “There’s photographs, Tim.”
 “Allegedly.”
 “Under-15s badminton competition…”
 “A myth, Steve.”
 “The school trip to Paris…”
 “Deepfake.”
 “Deepfake???”
 “That’s all I’m saying.”
 “What???”
 “Walls have ears, mate.”
 “Sweet Jesus.”
 “Soros is listening.”
 “He really isn’t, Tim.”
 “And I know you think I’ve nothing better to do…”
 “Huh?”
 “Than stand here educating you on life’s realities…”
 “Oh.”
 “But I need to start preparing my evening repast.”
 “Which is?”
 “Finely sliced sautéed potatoes…”
 “Right…”
 “Infused with jus de poulet…”
 “Uh-huh.”
 “Nestled on a bed of Morrisons soft white.”
 “Chicken crisp butty?”
 “Chicken crisp butty.”
 “Bon appetit, Tim. Bon appetit.” 

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