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      I Went To A Marvellous Party…

      A piece of doggerel entirely in keeping with Boris Johnson’s apology. Noel Coward deserves better but would approve of the intent.

      Jimmy AndrexbyJimmy Andrex
      13-01-2022 10:24
      in Poetry, Politics
      “A work event” in progress in the Downing Street Garden. (Picture wikimedia/British Cartoon Prints Collection

      “A work event” in progress in the Downing Street Garden. (Picture wikimedia/British Cartoon Prints Collection

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      (With apologies to Noel Coward)

      I went to a marvellous party

      With Carrie and Dilyn in private.

      It was in the fresh air

      And we went as we were

      And stayed as we were:

      I deny it.

      The staff were all boozing till midnight

      Until they were sprawled on the floor

      We told all the plebs that they couldn’t

      But I just think rules are a bore.

      I went to a marvellous party,

      Or rather “”a working event”

      We all got to do

      What was banned by the rules,

      But naysayers are fools

      Because rules aren’t for us but for them.

      Of course, I never really attended,

      Even though all the guests saw me there;

      Busy still doing all that I could

      With wine and cheese and nibbles.

      On a gorgeous evening, such a glorious feeling

      To say it never happened as natural as breathing.

      I went to a marvellous party

      We played the most wonderful game

      We denied then condemned it

      And then we pretended 

      I didn’t know since I’ve no sense of shame.

      I went to a marvellous party.

      Look away, since there’s no need to worry,

      There’s no need to shout

      Till the full facts come out

      And I very nearly said I was sorry.

       

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      Jimmy Andrex

      Jimmy Andrex

      Jimmy is a Wakefield poet who performs all over the UK. Co-founder of Red Shed Readings, he is a presenter on ELFM’s Love the Words, where he writes and produces the Jimmy Andrex Outside Broadcast, as well as co-curating their Writing on Air Festival. Cartoon by Hamley Jenkins.

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