• Contact
  • About
  • Authors
DONATE
NEWSLETTER SIGN UP
  • Login
Yorkshire Bylines
  • Home
  • News
    • All
    • Brexit
    • Education
    • Environment
    • Health
    • Home Affairs
    • Transport
    • World
    Thwaite Hall, Cottingham,

    Plans to house asylum seekers at former student accommodation in Hull put on hold

    Whitehall bus, photo by Malcolm Laverty

    Who will the prime minister throw under the bus this time?

    Child playing

    Children first: a challenge for Wakefield parliamentary candidates

    Judy Ling Wong

    Judy Ling Wong CBE: a life in art and environmental activism

    Drax Power Station

    Drax Power Station: a burning issue

    Poster from Linton Action

    Linton-on-Ouse: Home Office set to repeat previous asylum accommodation failures

    Parliament House, Canberra

    Inside Australia’s unpredictable election

    Image of a baby deer

    Steer clear of baby deer!

    RAF Linton

    RAF Linton to house asylum seekers: what we know so far

    Trending Tags

    • Johnson
    • Coronavirus
    • Labour
    • Starmer
    • NI Protocol
    • Brexit
    • Culture
    • Education
    • Environment
    • Home Affairs
    • Transport
    • World
  • Politics
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
    • All
    • Culture
    • Dance
    • Food
    • Music
    • Poetry
    • Recipes
    • Sport
    Bradford photograph courtesy of Tim Green Bradford | Tim Green | Flickr

    Will Bradford become the UK City of Culture 2025?

    Judy Ling Wong

    Judy Ling Wong CBE: a life in art and environmental activism

    Image of Norky's Ramblings books

    Norky’s Ramblings by Peter Norcliffe: a review

    Image of heath hall

    Bowls, beer, and battles: a not too serious guide to the capture of Wakefield, the Merrie City, May 1643

    Image of Skipwith Common

    Weird Yorkshire: the Skipwith Bear

    Westenra, promo image provided

    Local band to play at Whitby Abbey Guinness World Record attempt

    Photo courtesy of the JORVIK Centre

    JORVIK Viking festival

    Image of Cragg Vale

    Norky’s Ramblings: a WARTS ramble in Cragg Vale

    Image of 'no racism' at cricket match

    Condoning racism in English cricket comes at a price: £50,000 to be exact

    • Food
    • Music
    • Poetry
    • Sport
  • Business
    • All
    • Economy
    • Technology
    • Trade
    Jar with money cascading out of it

    Boosterism doesn’t put food on the table

    Desk with laptop

    Johnson and Rees-Mogg want us back in the office, but for whose benefit?

    Cost-of-living crisis, Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

    Poorest households continue to be the hardest hit by the cost-of-living crisis

    Food bank packing at the Cornerstone Community Centre in Newcastle-under-Lyme, by Staffs Live on Flikr

    Sooner rather than later – why the poorest households need help now

    Constructing houses

    Trouble in Happy Valley: Calderdale Council struggles to agree its local plan

    Cost of living crisis

    A government that’s out of touch and out of ideas

    Cost of living - a house, a piggy bank and a magnifying glass

    Cost-of-living crisis likely to escalate due to rising global consumption

    Driverless car

    How safe are driverless cars?

    Port of Dover, Eastern Docks, Customs Control

    Brexit border checks: better never than late?

    Trending Tags

      • Economy
      • Technology
      • Trade
    • Region
    No Result
    View All Result
    • Home
    • News
      • All
      • Brexit
      • Education
      • Environment
      • Health
      • Home Affairs
      • Transport
      • World
      Thwaite Hall, Cottingham,

      Plans to house asylum seekers at former student accommodation in Hull put on hold

      Whitehall bus, photo by Malcolm Laverty

      Who will the prime minister throw under the bus this time?

      Child playing

      Children first: a challenge for Wakefield parliamentary candidates

      Judy Ling Wong

      Judy Ling Wong CBE: a life in art and environmental activism

      Drax Power Station

      Drax Power Station: a burning issue

      Poster from Linton Action

      Linton-on-Ouse: Home Office set to repeat previous asylum accommodation failures

      Parliament House, Canberra

      Inside Australia’s unpredictable election

      Image of a baby deer

      Steer clear of baby deer!

      RAF Linton

      RAF Linton to house asylum seekers: what we know so far

      Trending Tags

      • Johnson
      • Coronavirus
      • Labour
      • Starmer
      • NI Protocol
      • Brexit
      • Culture
      • Education
      • Environment
      • Home Affairs
      • Transport
      • World
    • Politics
    • Opinion
    • Lifestyle
      • All
      • Culture
      • Dance
      • Food
      • Music
      • Poetry
      • Recipes
      • Sport
      Bradford photograph courtesy of Tim Green Bradford | Tim Green | Flickr

      Will Bradford become the UK City of Culture 2025?

      Judy Ling Wong

      Judy Ling Wong CBE: a life in art and environmental activism

      Image of Norky's Ramblings books

      Norky’s Ramblings by Peter Norcliffe: a review

      Image of heath hall

      Bowls, beer, and battles: a not too serious guide to the capture of Wakefield, the Merrie City, May 1643

      Image of Skipwith Common

      Weird Yorkshire: the Skipwith Bear

      Westenra, promo image provided

      Local band to play at Whitby Abbey Guinness World Record attempt

      Photo courtesy of the JORVIK Centre

      JORVIK Viking festival

      Image of Cragg Vale

      Norky’s Ramblings: a WARTS ramble in Cragg Vale

      Image of 'no racism' at cricket match

      Condoning racism in English cricket comes at a price: £50,000 to be exact

      • Food
      • Music
      • Poetry
      • Sport
    • Business
      • All
      • Economy
      • Technology
      • Trade
      Jar with money cascading out of it

      Boosterism doesn’t put food on the table

      Desk with laptop

      Johnson and Rees-Mogg want us back in the office, but for whose benefit?

      Cost-of-living crisis, Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

      Poorest households continue to be the hardest hit by the cost-of-living crisis

      Food bank packing at the Cornerstone Community Centre in Newcastle-under-Lyme, by Staffs Live on Flikr

      Sooner rather than later – why the poorest households need help now

      Constructing houses

      Trouble in Happy Valley: Calderdale Council struggles to agree its local plan

      Cost of living crisis

      A government that’s out of touch and out of ideas

      Cost of living - a house, a piggy bank and a magnifying glass

      Cost-of-living crisis likely to escalate due to rising global consumption

      Driverless car

      How safe are driverless cars?

      Port of Dover, Eastern Docks, Customs Control

      Brexit border checks: better never than late?

      Trending Tags

        • Economy
        • Technology
        • Trade
      • Region
      No Result
      View All Result
      Yorkshire Bylines
      No Result
      View All Result
      Home Lifestyle Poetry

      Dominic Cummings is never wrong

      Poem by Jimmy Andrex, cartoon by Stan

      Jimmy AndrexbyJimmy Andrex
      21-01-2022 16:12
      in Poetry
      Cummings blog, cartoon by Stan

      Cartoon by Stan

      503
      VIEWS
      Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
      ADVERTISEMENT
      When you see a nurse run, 
      you know something’s up. 
      The Audiology department, even mid-pandemic, hums:
      Hearing aid batteries by return of post,
      An appointment in a couple of days
      To fix your brittle tubes and then they do
      that clever thing with the little pliers
      While asking about your weekend. 
      Five minutes later you’re on your way.
      When you see a nurse run, then point outside to a colleague, 
      You know there’s something up.
      On his blog, Dom goes on and on
      About how right he is.
      If not for The Blob, his pet crazies
      Could sort it all out. If only 
      The people who follow orders
      The people who follow procedures 
      The people who don’t really matter 
      Would just drop everything,
      Read the right books
      Then Civil Service, local government,
      NHS could all be dismantled 
      And run by about 50 people, he reckons,
      If only they were His Sort Of People.
      On this enlightened morning,
      Crisp as a white linen shirt,
      A sprinting nurse arrives at a blob
      Of people round a man, collapsed:
      Arms out, walking stick dropped.
      One nurse giving CPR,
      One comforting the wife,
      Others sorting out stretchers
      Following orders
      Following procedures 
      The people who don’t write the books 
      Dom is never wrong about,
      Dropped everything. 
      Sprinted out
      As taxis slowed to rubberneck;
      Following procedures 
      Following protocols
      Following training 
      Trying all they knew. 
      When Dom got Covid, he’d headed for the hills
      As fast as a Range Rover full of alibis
      could carry him and his family of lies,
      And when his son got ill
      he didn’t take him to a maverick genius
      or a statistician
      or a mathematician
      who predicted something in Singapore.
      When you see a bunch of nurses run,
      You know that quantum supremacy theory
      Is less use than teamwork and CPR.
      The fresh linen of the morning
      Crumples but trudges on,
      The bloke selling veg at the entrance
      Cracks a cauliflower smile in a bid to attract
      The blob of smokers in pyjamas,
      relieved visitors,
      new grandmothers,
      Or people with hearing aids fixed
      As the best efforts of the mixed
      Bag of people who’d always drop everything
      Rather than smash it to see what happens
      Keep on doing what they do:
      Follow procedures
      Follow training
      Follow pathways
      Follow protocols.
      See Dom.
      See Dom write.
      See Dom write a blog.
      See Dom write about being right.
      
      ADVERTISEMENT
      Previous Post

      Ten for Nature: nature recovery in Yorkshire

      Next Post

      Mad Morris, the Vulture Sex Wrecker

      Jimmy Andrex

      Jimmy Andrex

      Jimmy is a Wakefield poet who performs all over the UK. Co-founder of Red Shed Readings, he is a presenter on ELFM’s Love the Words, where he writes and produces the Jimmy Andrex Outside Broadcast, as well as co-curating their Writing on Air Festival. Cartoon by Hamley Jenkins.

      Related Posts

      Chicken crossing the road
      Poetry

      Carry on spaffing: why did the chicken cross the road?

      byJimmy Andrex
      28 April 2022
      british railway sign
      Poetry

      The Great British Rail Sale

      byJimmy Andrex
      22 April 2022
      The cast of Les Miserable at Oakbank School, Keighley
      Poetry

      We’re the woke mob in the culture war: what does this actually mean?

      byJimmy Andrex
      23 February 2022
      Mad Morris the Vulture Sex Wrecker. Photo by Bruce Jastrow on Unsplash
      Poetry

      Mad Morris, the Vulture Sex Wrecker

      bySteve Pottinger
      22 January 2022
      Operation Big Dog. Photo by Dan Dennis on Unsplash
      Poetry

      Operation Big Dog

      bySteve Pottinger
      19 January 2022
      Next Post
      Mad Morris the Vulture Sex Wrecker. Photo by Bruce Jastrow on Unsplash

      Mad Morris, the Vulture Sex Wrecker

      Want to support us?

      Can you help Yorkshire Bylines to grow and become more sustainable with a regular donation, no matter how small?  

      DONATE

      Sign up to our newsletter

      If you would like to receive the Yorkshire Bylines regular newsletter, straight talking direct to your inbox, click the button below.

      NEWSLETTER

      LATEST

      Thwaite Hall, Cottingham,

      Plans to house asylum seekers at former student accommodation in Hull put on hold

      24 May 2022
      Whitehall bus, photo by Malcolm Laverty

      Who will the prime minister throw under the bus this time?

      24 May 2022
      Bradford photograph courtesy of Tim Green Bradford | Tim Green | Flickr

      Will Bradford become the UK City of Culture 2025?

      24 May 2022
      Jar with money cascading out of it

      Boosterism doesn’t put food on the table

      24 May 2022

      MOST READ

      Whitehall bus, photo by Malcolm Laverty

      Who will the prime minister throw under the bus this time?

      24 May 2022
      Photo credit Robert Sharp / englishpenLicensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

      The Davis Downside Dossier

      1 January 2021
      Desk with laptop

      Johnson and Rees-Mogg want us back in the office, but for whose benefit?

      23 May 2022
      Jar with money cascading out of it

      Boosterism doesn’t put food on the table

      24 May 2022

      BROWSE BY TAGS

      antivaxxers Charity climate change Coronavirus Cost of living Creative industries Crime Cummings Democracy Devolution Equality Farming Fishing hgv History Immigration Johnson Journalism Labour Local Democracy Mental Health mining money NHS NI Protocol omicron Pies pollution poverty PPE Public Health Review shortage social media Starmer tax travel Ukraine Yorkshire
      Yorkshire Bylines

      Yorkshire Bylines is a regional online newspaper that supports citizen journalism. Our aim is to publish well-written, fact-based articles and opinion pieces on subjects that are of interest to people in Yorkshire and beyond.

      Learn more about us

      No Result
      View All Result
      • Contact
      • About
      • Letters
      • Donate
      • Privacy
      • Bylines network
      • Shop

      © 2022 Yorkshire Bylines. Citizen Journalism | Local & Internationalist

      No Result
      View All Result
      • Home
      • News
        • Brexit
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Health
        • Home Affairs
        • Transport
        • World
      • Politics
      • Opinion
      • Lifestyle
        • Culture
        • Dance
        • Food
        • Music
        • Poetry
        • Recipes
        • Sport
      • Business
        • Economy
        • Technology
        • Trade
      • Donate
      • The Compendium of Cabinet Codebreakers
      • The Davis Downside Dossier
      • The Digby Jones Index
      • Newsletter sign up
      • Cartoons by Stan
      • Authors

      © 2022 Yorkshire Bylines. Citizen Journalism | Local & Internationalist

      Welcome Back!

      Login to your account below

      Forgotten Password?

      Retrieve your password

      Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

      Log In