“Cramping my inalienable right to determine my own destiny as a free man”

Airbag by Telstar Logistics is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0
“Working on your car again, Tim?”
“Checking the spark plugs? Topping up the oil?”
“Nah, mate. Taking out the airbags.”
“The airbags??!!”
“That’s right.”
“But why on earth…?”
“Don’t want anything to do with them, mate.”
“Well, none of us want anything to *do* with them, Tim. They’re just there for emergencies.”
“They’re a symbol of societal oppression, Steve – ”
“They’re really not.”
 “ – cramping my inalienable right to determine my own destiny as a free man.”
"You been smoking too much weed again, chap?”
“Shut it, sheeple.”
“For questioning you taking out your airbags?”
“Nope. For taking the piss.”
“I’m sorry, Tim. It just sounds bonkers to remove something which might help save your life.”
“Bonkers to you, maybe.”
“Not just me, in fairness.”
“If you’re happy in the herd, Steve, good luck to you.”
“I think you’ll be the one needing the luck, fella.”
“No, really. What you going to do next? Remove the brakes?”
“Took em off yesterday.”
“You took them off??!!”
“Yes, Steve. Something wrong with your hearing?”
“Tim, I’m…. I’m… I’m lost for words.”
“Well, that’s a result.”
“If you don’t mind me asking – ”
“I do, but… ”
“ – why the fuck would you take the brakes off your car, Tim?”
“One word, Steve.”
“Go on…”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Not at all.”
“This, I’ve got to hear.”
“It starts with you accepting brakes as normal, right?”
“Next thing, they’re putting a microchip in your brain.”
“I can’t believe you don’t see that.”
“That’s quite a leap, Tim.”
“Nah, mate. Not when you start putting the pieces together.”
“But… brakes, airbags… they save lives.”
“So you say.”
“Not just me, Tim. Have you ever seen a car crash?”
“Crisis actors, mate.”
“Crisis actors.”
“You mean…”
“Exactly. The deep state at work, Steve.”
“Oh boy.”
“Creating a world where you spend your life in a state of fear – ”
“ – and they can control you.”
“So… ambulance workers, nurses, doctors…”
“Actors, mate. Every last one of them.”
“That bloke who got knocked off his bike and killed…”
“Never existed, mate.”
“But it was on the news!”
“Mainstream media, Steve.”
“Local radio, actually.”
“BBC Radio Leeds, Tim.”
“One of the sinister tentacles, Steve.”
“Seems a bit unlikely…”
“That’s what they want you to think.”
“I mean, it’s mainly travel updates.”
“Subliminal messages.”
“No, mate. They’re upfront about it. Congestion, M62 westbound junction 28. That kind of thing. It’s very helpful.” 
“You just won’t take this seriously, will you?”
“I do. And I always avoid the motorway at rush-hour. It’s not worth the hassle.”
“No, really.”
“Anyway, I’ve got to crack on with these airbags.”
“OK, Tim. It’s been good to chat.”
“I doubt it.”
“Honestly, it has. Most illuminating.”
“But before I go, what’s with the burns to the face?”
“Oh, those?”
“Bit of an incident sorting out the house electrics, Steve.”
“Bare wires?”
“Plug sockets cramping your inalienable rights as a free etc, were they?”
“Yeah. How did you know??”
“Just a hunch, Tim. Just a hunch.”

Image of Steve Pottinger

Steve Pottinger is a writer, post and spoken word artist. You can discover more of his work via his website.

Originally posted on his Facebook page 30 November 2020.

Follow him on Twitter @BigStevePoet

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