Alistair Cowan is the pen name of the satirist, plagiarist and man Alistair Cowan. He has worked in mental health for 30 years - principally his own - and has the largest collection of 19th century scrimshaw in Ayrshire. He has one piece of scrimshaw but hopes to add to it if he can source a narwhal. A keen supporter or Kilmarnock FC he is often glad to correct peoples misapprehension that their proper name is Kilmarnock Nil. He is keen to live on through his work or, ideally, not dying.